Musings: Harvey Milk on Being a Fucking Stupid Coward

"Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that’s what you should do if you love someone, don’t wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come, don’t let people happen to you, don’t let me happen to you, or her, she’s not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this and I always thought I’d be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there and do nothing and breathe into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it is the way I can recognize it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is, that is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that is worth anything, really."

                        - Harvey Milk

Fuck yes Harvey Milk! Why the fuck can't we all just fucking come clean and say what we want without being deemed an emotional psycho. I'm human, and I'm not going to masquerade around like I don't care, 'cause I do. I feel, I think, maybe too  much at times, but I'm not gonna justify my exploding head and heart in favour of conforming. Sometimes we need to go after what we want, whether it's right or wrong. I think with my head so much, sometimes I want to take my heart out on a walk, get a little air, 'cause I never let it out of it's fucking cage. But as much as I hate it, sometimes life's messy, brutal, awkward , honest, raw and gritty and so are my emotions. Sometimes it needs a little detox so I can go on again. I will not regret telling him how I feel and acting on this impulse because I rarely ever allow myself to, and I'm not gonna apologize for something that's gonna be healthy for me in the long run. I don't wanna be 70 years old and look back on the coulda, woulda, shoulda.